Contagious Thankfulness by Stewart Perry
Mary-Anne, Ann McGuinness and myself have all spent a large part of this week in Noosa at a Clergy Conference for the Southern Region of our Diocese. Despite the location and the beautiful resort at which it is held, I don’t often look forward to these experiences because often the tone can be somewhat negative.
I was really encouraged after the first day because it was actually really positive, the speakers were engaging, our conversation around the table was energised, others felt good and I felt good.
On the second day I came back for Lillian Ives funeral and returned just in time for dinner and the final session. Over dinner people were still pretty positive, it didn’t seem like I’d missed that much in the way of content but the tone was still overwhelmingly positive. During the last session things turned, someone made a negative comment, which followed by an unhelpful comment, and then some more negativity… while we pushed through and got through the session without too much more negativity, I felt after the session quite negative.
I ran into Mary-Anne on the way out and she asked me how I found the last session and I immediately replied “it was toxic”. She at first thought I’d meant the speaker who was speaking, but I clarified that it was those who commented negatively that were toxic.
On reflection I realised that I’d allowed their negativity to rub off on me, and while I didn’t agree with what they said and didn’t hear things the way they heard them, I responded to their negativity with my own perspective of negativity.
It’s OK because this has a happy ending…
The next day and the final day had a lot more positivity, there was a few negative things here or there but there was an overwhelming positivity that drowned out the negativity and guess what? I went away feeling positive about the experience.
I heard this on a podcast so it must be true… but when you do something nice for someone our body produces the “feel good” hormone Oxytocin. Interestingly, when we witness someone doing something nice to someone else that also produces Oxytocin in the person witnessing the kindness.
Positivity, generosity and thankfulness are chemically contagious.
It did make me wonder whether there was a corresponding response to negativity because I witnessed on Tuesday night how quickly negativity became contagious. Although I didn’t buy into the particular negativity that was shared, it left me feeling negative in myself.
But it seems to me from my experience this week, that positivity is way more powerful that negativity.
In what is known as the Golden rule, Jesus says do unto others as you would have them do unto you… this is contagious positivity. It’s not just chemical, it’s biblical.
Thankfulness is a version of positivity, even if that thankfulness comes from a challenging situation or experience, it is a positive way of responding to it.
Thankfulness is not boasting, ego or attention seeking. It is humble, authentic and generous.
This type of thankfulness is absolutely contagious. When we show thankfulness, it will make others feel good, even if they haven’t experienced what we have, they will be encouraged to look at their lives and experiences with thankfulness.
It is so easy to get sucked into the negativity of our world and our times, yet taking a thankful and positive approach can overcome negativity, particularly the negativity that can become toxic.
I pray that we are able to bring our negative experiences before God and people we trust and value, that we might deal with them well and in dealing with them well we might become thankful of what emerges. I also pray that we can share our thankfulness more openly with a knowledge that our thankfulness will rub off on others.
I pray for contagious thankfulness!