The other side of the story by Stewart Perry
This time next week will be Australia Day and I am very aware that there are a variety of views and opinions about the day and many of those opinions are strong and loud. Rather than tell you what my opinion is, I thought it might be helpful to reflect on how we can approach this and other contentious and divisive issues as followers of Jesus.
Last week’s gospel and this week’s gospel reading are all about following Jesus. So what does following Jesus look like in regard to divisive issues of the time?
Jesus did have a single moment of righteous anger as he turned over the tables in the temple but that was only one example in his 3 years of ministry. We live in a time and culture when outrage and righteous anger seems to be the default position and my fear is that the Church is joining in, more often that not, with this way of responding to issues that divide us and I for one am incredibly uncomfortable at the increase of “absolutism” I see within the Church. Part of the reason for my discomfort us that within the Church we can’t seem to agree on what we are absolute about!
It is a task for another day, when I have some spare time… but I would really like to do a detailed exploration on the amount of times in the gospels, when Jesus is asked a question (and many of those questions were about divisive issues of the time) and his answer is either another question or a story with multiple meanings and interpretations, we know them as parables.
I have on many occasions, sat with church members over a cuppa, to wrestle with them on a position or issue they are struggling with, where they have a strong opinion that others might not share. One of the approaches I have often used in those circumstances, is to help the person see the other side of the story. This can be particularly challenging when I share the same opinion as the person.
Some might say this technique is “playing devil’s advocate” but I have learnt there is a holiness in understanding the other side of the story, in fact I believe it can be a precious gift.
My personality type is one in which I have strong opinions and I’m usually happy to share them. I remember the first time I met Bishop John I said to him that if you ask me a direct question I’ll always give you a direct answer even if it is just my opinion. He will from time to time remind me of this when he is wanting to hear what others might think… surprisingly it seems that people don’t always tell bishops what they think… one of my problems is that I don’t always think before I give my opinion and sometimes I don’t consider my positional power when I offer my opinion. Because I am a priest I do carry a significant level of positional authority and I need to be aware that sometimes people don’t always interpret my opinions as opinions, rather they might hear them as directives.
In recent years one of my personal reminders has been “I have strong opinions but I try to hold them lightly”.
One of the ways that helps me to hold my opinions more lightly is to do what Jesus did and ask questions. People with strong opinions aren’t always good listeners… so it’s something I try to do even when I have a strong opinion on the matter… especially when I do…
I have found that people’s stories in and of themselves are always a precious gift but also when you take the time to listen to them and understand them, it will often give you an insight into why they think and act the way they do and also why they might have a different opinion to you.
I think of the encounter with Jesus and the woman at the well (John chapter 4). As Jesus helped her reveal her story her position became clearer and you see in scripture that Jesus warmth towards her grew. You see a similar warmth in the interaction with another woman in scripture who asks Jesus for the “crumbs under the table” (Matthew 15, Mark 7).
Ironically both these women were different nationalities to Jesus, one Samaritan and the other a Canaanite/Syrophoenician, with different opinions about many things no doubt… yet in the revealing of their stories there was a warmth and gentleness that emerged.
So as we approach Australia Day can I encourage you to listen well to each other and to be open to hear the stories behind the opinions. It might be that your personal opinion does not change but in being open to and listening to the stories of others we might be gentle with their opinions and understand where they are coming from. Might we respond to issues that divide us with question and the revelation of story rather than absolutism, might we be more like Jesus in allowing love to be the dominant position of the Church and followers of Jesus.
The other side of the story is always a precious gift.
Have a great week
Stewart