A story of life and faith : Valerian – ‘readiness’ – By Parishioner Di Reilly
This week we bring you a story of life and faith with Valerian – a plant that symbolises readiness.
Valerian is a perennial flowering plant native to Europe and Asia. It can grow tall in the summer (up to 5 feet) and bears sweetly scented pink or white flowers that attract many species of fly and is food for butterflies and moths.
What was life like for you as a young person?
Born in Papua New Guinea, Valerian grew up in Kingscliff from a young age. His parents were both teachers and faith was not a big part of his life growing up.
“I had a very happy childhood and always felt loved and supported.”
Faith was something he explored later. He was very academic and career-oriented as a young man, studying environmental engineering and beginning his corporate career in Brisbane.
“I had my mid-life crisis at 21-22 when I realised work wasn’t everything I expected it to be,” he says.
When did you begin to think of yourself as a Christian? What was that like for you?
“I spent a few years exploring anything but Christian faith. I started with Greek philosophy and took a detour through Hinduism and Buddhism.”
When Valerian was 25, his father was diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer. That was when he first saw Christian faith up close.
“My dad reached out to the local Anglican priest, and he guided him through it” he says.
Valerian saw and experienced Christian community
and it changed his preconceptions of what Christianity was like.
“It was a wonderful community and very supportive and I grew curious about Jesus and Christian faith. It took me a number of years after that to work it through.”
He admits it’s not always easy and can sometimes be a little uncomfortable: “my generation tends to be very individualistic and probably views a lot of institutions like the church with suspicion. My peer group and friendship group found it very strange at first.”
“They know who I am and accept me, but it is still tricky to know how far to push my views. I would like to think that the way I live is an example and that it intrigues them enough to want to talk about it at some point.”
How has your life journey been shaped by your life in Christ?
Looking back at his faith journey, Valerian points to his experience participating in Rosies and feeding homeless people, before he became a Christian, as one turning point.
Encouraged by a social worker friend during his mid-life crisis, his knowledge of the church and priests at the time was clouded by suspicion and pre-conceived ideas generated by reports of criminality, cover ups and public inquiries.
He says “sometimes it’s doing something different like Rosies, that can make the breakthrough when people are suspicious (of church). They can see something tangible.”
He explains further.
“Orthodoxy is correct thought or belief, while orthopraxis is correct practice.
For me, I didn’t believe and then act. I acted, and then belief made sense”.
He spent some time in a Buddhist silent retreat in Northern Thailand while still figuring things out after his dad passed away. It was another turning point.
“It was after that powerful experience of love and peace I began, finally, to see myself as a Christian.”
While the Buddhist retreat gave him a powerful experience with God, he says such experiences are solitary pursuits.
“With Christian faith you need to live it out – being with others and loving others, especially those who are different from us.
“That’s something I really love about our church, it’s so diverse but we have our faith in common to bring us together.”
What is it like to be part of a faith community?
When Valerian’s son was born with a serious and life-threatening medical condition, he says he and his wife were “just existing” during a very distressing time. They had just started attending Robina Anglican.
“To have a faith community supporting you was precious to us at the time. It held us up when we didn’t have the strength to pray for ourselves. It was helpful to know that other people were praying for us,” he says.
He believes that being part of a Christian community helps sustain faith and that coming to church regularly “re-orders your priorities about what’s important in life.”
“When I am present, following in the way of Jesus, who and what is important in everyday life becomes totally reordered.”
How would you encourage people who are finding their way in life and faith in our changing world?
Valerian says it is important to be part of a community.
“I see prayer, silence and community as essential”, he says.
“I love listening to podcasts as a way of exploring faith and other things, but that can only get you so far – and we all need to spend some time disconnected from devices!”
“If coming to church is awkward for some people, then maybe as a church we need to do something that people can feel a part of until they are comfortable coming in the door.
“For people exploring faith, doing something like Rosies might be a way to understand it and grow into it as well. Some of the teaching may seem strange, but when you spend a night feeding homeless people, it seems to make sense.
“If it is true that each person is made in the image of God, that changes everything. Everyone is due respect and deep care.”
With grateful thanks to Valerian for sharing his story,
Di