Life and Faith Story: The Golden Crocus – Di Reilly
The yellow or golden Crocus infuses gardens with an air of optimism, painting outdoor spaces with its captivating hues and uplifting allure. Symbolising positivity and renewal, it captures the essence of spring’s vibrant energy with its radiance and cheerfulness. Its value as a symbol is its ability to withstand the drought of summer and to sprout, a sign that rain (and nourishment) is coming. That’s how it will be for the ransomed of the Lord who are returning to Israel.
What was life like for you as a young person?
Golden Crocus grew up on a dairy farm in northern New South Wales with views of the Pacific Ocean. His paternal grandmother lived in one of the houses on the property and it was she who introduced him to church and Sunday school from the age of five.
“It was a very simple upbringing, we never had a lot of money, so a lot of the food, vegetables and meats we had were grown on the farm,” Crocus says.
“It was ‘organic’ living before organic became the buzz word.
“However, I didn’t particularly enjoy life on the farm, and I knew early on that it wasn’t going to be the life for me,” says Crocus.
Crocus worked hard at high school to achieve results that would take him away from the rural life and the expectation that he would take over the family farm as the eldest child.
“I felt my father’s disappointment as he had inherited the farm from his father, and it had been in my family for 120 years,” he says.
“So, I did have that conflict but ultimately, many years later, the government resumed the land to build a freeway anyway.
“Which was sad for the family legacy as we were well known in the district and the largest supplier of milk to Norco, but we did have a road named after us.
“Upon reflection I am grateful for that upbringing because I believe it has given me my good health and good immune system and I think it is because we didn’t eat preservatives.
“And it was lovely to have my grandmother living with us on the farm, she is probably the reason why I am sitting here today, she was an extraordinary influence in my life.”
When did you begin to think of yourself as a Christian? What was that like for you?
His grandmother introduced him to church, taking him to Sunday school when he was five years old, at the “quintessential” little country Presbyterian church nearby, which he attended until early high school.
Crocus reflects on high school years when it was not considered “cool” to express one’s faith, until his final year at school when he started attending an Assembly of God church in Ballina with a neighbour.
“I really enjoyed that church, it had a great vibe, with live music and so when I went to university in Brisbane, I went along to an AOG church near me, but the experience was very different,” he says.
He did not feel welcomed or included and was so disappointed that he gave up attending church altogether and embraced life as university student, focusing on his studies and going out with friends.
“There was never a question in my mind about the existence of God and Jesus, but I guess I went through a number of years where I didn’t know if God would love somebody like me and whether someone like me had a place in a Christian community such as a church,” Crocus explains.
It was not until the 2007 when he was teaching at faith school that he began to once again feel part of a faith community.
“The new school chaplain absolutely helped me believe that God loved me for who I was and that I had a place in community,” he says.
“So, whilst I say I had that I had the ‘Israelite’ experience of 40 years out in the wilderness, during that time my faith never wavered.
“God is always there and brings us back to his flock in time.”
How has your life journey been shaped by your life ‘in Christ’?
Crocus says it was partly pride that kept him from returning to the church. Someone close to him believed Crocus needed “his soul to be saved” and that actually pushed him away from the church and internalised his faith.
“My pride kept me from acknowledging my faith at home, despite being quite active in chapel at my school,” Crocus says.
“In 2019 I went to Israel and had the most incredible spiritual experience. I very much felt the presence of God there.
I messaged my principal and said, ‘I defy anyone to come to Israel and not believe that Jesus walked this earth and that there is a God.”
That experience, and the support of his school chaplain convinced him to consider making a more permanent commitment to the Church.
What has belonging to a faith community meant to you?
Crocus says, “for me, it just a place of acceptance, a place where you can feel part of a family. It is a family that you choose to be part of”.
“It is a place where you are nurtured spiritually, emotionally, you bucket gets filled and you are there to support each other and I think it is really really beautiful.
“What I love about the Anglican tradition is that it really accepting, particularly the Brisbane diocese, which is truly welcoming.
“It encourages robust discussion, and we can agree to disagree on things in a respectful way and I love that.
“I fell I have that experience here at Robina, I can walk in, I can have a conversation with anybody and it’s ok.”
How would you encourage people who are finding their way in life and faith in our changing world?
Crocus says the first thing he would say is, “God uses all of us, flaws and all.”
“Embrace who you are. Know that you are enough, and that God can use you for who you are. Who you are is a gift and can be a gift to somebody else.
“Don’t be afraid to ‘try before you buy’ because I think it’s really important to find a community that your do feel comfortable in so that you do have that family experience.
“It is ok if you have an experience that you don’t like, maybe try again or try somewhere different. Take the time to find the right community because that is very important,” he says.
“Just don’t give up, because being part of a faith community is just so enriching and nourishing.
“I would also say, it doesn’t make you any less of a Christian if you are not in a place like that or you take some time to find a place that is going to suit who you are.”
He encourages people to research online or to join church linked groups, such as the conversations at 5 group at Robina, as a way to ease their way into a church community.
As for the church’s role in encouraging people, he is realistic when considering the challenges.
“The community has lost a lot of faith in the church, for many valid reasons,” he says.
“I think we have to accept that we have to change, because doing things the way we’ve always done them isn’t working. But it’s a gentle process and it takes time.
“Ultimately, it is not about what we profess, it is about what we do.
“You can show that you are Christian through your actions, and I believe that has to be a significant part of what a church community is.
“We all have a role to play, it’s not just up to our church leaders. We are all leaders in our community and when we act with love and compassion, the Holy Spirit shines through and that can make all the difference.”
My thanks to Golden Crocus for sharing his story.
Di Reilly