Every child is born into a different family – Mary-Anne Rulfs
What to write about, a few days out from Christmas? I’m thinking we all have differing schedules and opportunities for r&r; we carry differing concerns – perhaps relational, financial, or regarding our own health and wellbeing or that of loved ones; we have preferred ways of spending the Christmas season, and we’re wondering what the reality will be for us this year. And I imagine we have differing theological perspectives and spiritual practices around the Advent season and Christmas.
So, what to focus on?
I have really enjoyed reading the life + faith stories shared via this forum throughout the year. Differing perspectives and journeys have been shared authentically and meaningfully within the context of a real person’s life – someone who is an active member of our Gold Coast Anglican faith community, whether as a life-long Anglican or having come on a long and winding journey to arrive where they are today. Such beautiful expressions of God’s grace and mercy and love within the diversity of the human family – a family created in the image of an infinitely expressive God. In the breadth and richness of our tradition there is room for each person to worship, pray, explore scripture and serve in their own way as a celebration of who they are as a beloved child of God.
(Thank you to everyone who has been willing to share their story, and to Di for curating this project.)
Over the past month Brad and I have had the privilege of sharing in the life journey of our son and daughter-in-law, who have just welcomed twin daughters into the world, making a family of four beautiful girls. As we left to fly home, our son gave us a note he’d written, and he used a very intentional expression that really captured my attention … he thanked us for our help and support ‘as we all care for the twins and welcome them into their family …’. Isn’t that beautiful? We welcome the twins into their family. It’s not only ours – it’s theirs also.
My sister has always said: ‘every child is born into a different family’.
I often reflect on that statement when babies are welcomed into the world, and think about the family that Brad and I raised. For sure, our way of being family and the family dynamic changed every time a new baby joined us. Each baby’s personality and way of being shaped our life together, enriching life and widening our appreciation of being family. The family was their family, as well as ours.
(I feel a need to note that naturally, the loss of a child, perhaps through death, incapacity or estrangement, significantly shapes the family dynamic too. Some of you have experienced this.)
I really appreciated our son’s perspective that the twin babies have their own identifies and his family becomes theirs – a place to be oneself, to be nurtured and safe and heard and seen and loved.
When Jesus was born, he was born into his family. He was welcomed by Mary and Joseph, to be nurtured and kept safe and heard and seen and loved. This came at a cost. His birth appears to have been very disruptive to their lives. Joseph and Mary gave generously of themselves to ensure Jesus’ safety from a neurotic ruler and perhaps from religious fundamentalists. While their way of being family together was shaped by Jesus’ personality and his way of expressing himself as a tiny human, it was also shaped by the significance of who he was for the whole human family. After the shepherds came to find the baby Jesus and worship him – I imagine that came as a pretty big surprise to Mary in her post-partum state – I wonder what they told their friends and neighbours. Who had they seen? A newborn baby? An infant king? Their saviour? A light in the darkness? A holy mystery?
When Jesus was born, he was born into his family – the whole human family is Jesus’ extended family of which we are all a part.
‘Every child is born into a different family.’ The human family was forever changed by the arrival of the divine one whose name could not be spoken by devout Jews, and who couldn’t be seen with human eyes. Yet the great ‘I Am’ was born Jesus the Christ – with a human face, a human name and into a human family, and raised in a human home. He was Son of God, as well as son of Mary, born into his family where Joseph and Mary nurtured him to become the man we read about in the gospels. Having human needs and human behaviours, the Son of God made being human a sacred calling. His life and ministry became dedicated to the compelling invitation for us to live into our sacred calling of being fully human, giving of ourselves to life in all its fullness and finding redemption for all that is lost and broken in the healing grace, mercy, forgiveness and love of God.
As Brad and I treasure the gift of this last month – meeting our baby grand-daughters and enjoying the rhythm of day-to-day life with their sisters and parents in a way we haven’t had an opportunity to do before – we have created life-long memories and strengthened our way of being family, even though we live on different continents. We have welcomed the twins into their family, and their arrival comes as a beautiful family gift, for which we are immensely grateful.
So wherever we are, and however life is for us at this time, how might we welcome Jesus into his human family anew this Christmas? And how might we respond to his invitation to respectfully consider the sacredness of human life and the gift of family, so that each and every person is seen and heard and known and loved? And before you dismiss this as an idealistic and completely unrealistic mission, consider Jesus’ words … ‘love your neighbour as yourself’. Of course this is a fraught and challenging calling! People are complex and difficult, usually because they haven’t been nurtured and cared for and respected in their family of origin or other significant relationships.
We can be complex and difficult too … usually because we haven’t been nurtured and cared for and respected in life-giving ways by others as well as by our own selves.
May our church community become a life-giving and nurturing model of family for the wider human family – a place where each person is seen and heard and loved and nurtured to grow into Jesus’ sacred calling to love. And where we are challenged to grow into people who see the church as the family for each and every person who is born into it, as well as our own. Some of our life + faith stories have expressed this! How people have found and experienced a sense of family and care through belonging to our church community.
May this year’s celebration of the birth of Jesus the Christ lead us to ponder the wonder of this sacred calling anew, and to live into it in the year that lies ahead, helping peace, hope, joy and love to be a reality for all Jesus’ human family.
Grace and peace, with Christmas joy,
Mary-Anne