Welcome! Please make yourself at home … – Mary-Anne Rulfs
Can you remember when you were new to our church community?
What stood out about your first visit to our church?
Who spoke to you? How did they speak to you?
What did that feel like?
Who ignored you – walking right by or looking through you?
How did the space work for you – the entrance, the main worship space, Lakeview?
What made you feel that you wanted to come back again?
We’re all wired differently when it comes to the ways we naturally connect with other people. Our personality type, gender, past experiences and current circumstances will all help shape our interactions with others, including people we meet for the first time.
Some people are like labradors – wearing a big smile, fun-loving and happy to stop for a chat with anyone (especially if they have food to share! 😊 ). Others like to be very deliberate with their interactions before moving on to the next thing. While others find it hard to naturally fall into conversation with people they don’t know. Our church community is a wonderful mixture of all kinds of people who relate to other people in all kinds of ways.
So how can we intentionally become more welcoming, especially when it comes to making new people feel at home with us? People who are like us – and people who are different from us. And why does this even matter?
The church is not a club. It’s not an organisation or society. And it’s more than an institution.
The church is uniquely diverse as an experience of human gathering – of community, human and divine.
The church is the embodiment of who the living God calls us to be in community, shaped by the reality of the risen Christ in our midst through the power of the Holy Spirit. For that reason, everyone is welcome. Everyone has a place. Everyone has gifts to share. Everyone has value – not more and not less than any other person.
For the last few months, and especially over Easter, we’ve had a steady stream of people coming to join us on Sunday mornings for the first time. While some people have recently moved into our area, and others are looking for a different church from where they’ve been, one reason I am hearing surprisingly often when I speak to new people is this:
“I just felt it was time to come back to church.”
People stop going to church for lots of reasons – they lose interest, life gets busy or complicated, they experience a faith crisis, or some kind of hurt or damage from people within the church. When they find the courage to return, it can be a powerfully encouraging and reassuring experience of the love of God to feel noticed and to receive a warm welcome.
We can never underestimate the value of a smile, a ‘hello’ and calling someone by their name.
This was a powerful element in Jesus’ ministry, and it can be in ours too.
Whatever our personality type or communication style, there are ways that we can reach out to others that feel authentic. Some version of the following suggestions might help if you feel stuck for words:
Step 1 is always a smile.
Then …
“Hello! Welcome to church!
We’re so pleased you came along today.
My name is M and yours? …
Can I introduce you to P?”
OR
“Hi! I’m M.
Have we met before? …
Oh, it’s great to meet you, N
And this is P”
OR
“Good morning!
I’m M. And you are …?
Please make yourself at home here this morning.”
A few more tips:
- Rather than asking too many questions that may feel intrusive, make a statement that helps the person feel at ease, even if it’s about the weather eg “It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it.”
- Ensure the person knows where to sit, where the bathrooms are, where Lakeview is for coffee after church etc. If they have children, introduce them to a kids church leader.
- It’s always great to introduce a new person to someone else standing close by. This is a great way to make connections quickly and foster a sense of belonging.
- Ask the person whether they would like to fill out a care card so someone from the ministry team can be in touch and to receive the weekly email on Friday afternoons.
- Perhaps you have recently joined our church community. We’d love to hear your feedback about what’s it’s been like to find a place here – what’s helped you to feel at home and what changes we can make to be more friendly and welcoming.
We look forward to getting to know new people better at our ‘hello’ brunch on 7 May in Lakeview, to which everyone is invited.
God seeks out each and every person with an invitation to be in relationship.
This is our calling too – to seek out others and nurture connection and belonging in the body of Christ.
What if people answered the question, “What made you feel you wanted to come back again?” with something like:
“This church is the friendliest and kindest community of people I have ever met!”?
Imagine the possibilities!
Yours in Christ,
Mary-Anne